What a Feeling!

I spent New Year's Eve with my spiritual family enjoying a wonderful event at the Peace Awareness Labyrinth and Gardens near downtown L.A.  

When several of my concerned friends asked how I was dealing with a challenging and rather public personal situation related to my divorce process, I shared honestly that I felt upset and angry.

I was dismayed at how many people tried to talk me out of experiencing these very valid emotions. By the 5th time I heard some variation of "give it up to God" or "you know, you can choose to just let it go," I was ready to scream. My poor friend Gail got an earful as I expressed exactly why I am entitled to these feelings, and in talking, I became clearer about my own process.

Let's face it, in our conscious community, we often disdain such unevolved things as emotions. As spiritual people, we are expected to be above all that human stuff, and encouraged to view our issues from a higher perspective. That approach can be very effective, don't get me wrong. But, if this is done without adequate healing work beforehand, it can lead to something called a "spiritual bypass." I personally have taken such a route many times in my life, to my detriment.

Spiritual bypass, in my understanding, is when we move right into Acceptance and Forgiveness, before taking the opportunity to explore, express and heal our underlying feelings. These emotions, especially the "negative" ones like anger, jealousy and resentment, get swept under the rugs of our psyches (that is, after we have spent some time judging ourselves for having them) and lodge deeper in our consciousness where they fester unseen, then pop out in unconscious ways -- through depression, physical pain, unsatisfying relationships, etc. It's like trying to hold the proverbial beach ball under water.

The key awareness that came as I talked with (at?) my friend that night was that I need to feel ALL of my feelings, in order to get to a place where I am ready to accept the situation and move on. I am just not there yet, and that's OK...I give myself permission to be "in process" as long as I need to. By experiencing my emotions fully and exploring the underlying patterns of hurt and betrayal (on my own or with a therapist), I can surface old karma and heal my issues at a much deeper level, instead of adding another layer to my shadow self by ignoring them.

So, in 2007, I intend to FEEL ALL MY EMOTIONS completely, without avoidance, denial or judgement, in service to my healing. I invite you to join me...

In Love and Light